Bipolar Frustrations » Hallie’s Thoughts

On Medication….

hallie — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:00:36 +0000

So I’m finally starting to feel better in some ways. I’m able to get up and move around, spend time with friends and family and even take some time for myself with out getting really depressed or having a mood swing. My medication was upped so that has something to do with it. In truth, I hate taking the pills and sometimes it’s a struggle to get myself to take them. “But I feel better so I don’t need them,” I think to myself. However I know these things don’t work that way.

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Balance

hallie — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 20:35:34 +0000

“The drugs make you numb.” How often I’ve heard people tell me this. But when I’m not on them they say, “You’re overly emotional, pull yourself together.” I can’t win, and I know I’m not alone. Balancing one’s mental health and life is like walking on a tightrope, granted life is like walking on a tightrope in general, only with mental illness thrown in, it’s kind of like walking the same tight rope carrying a dozen eggs *one’s sanity at the moment* in a wind storm.

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Damage Control

hallie — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 21:05:10 +0000

I hate it when you can feel yourself starting to have a mood swing you can’t do anything about. It’s like frost, starting at the edges of your consciousness, slowly working its way across your mind till you’re blind and the mood swing is all there is. Sometimes one can fight it and win, but sometimes there’s not a damn thing you can do about it other than damage control. Not a damn thing, and that’s a terrible feeling… knowing you can’t do anything… It’s like struggling in quicksand, it only draws you in faster. But unlike quicksand, one can’t escape a bad mood swing by not struggling, either way one gets pulled down deep and can’t escape until the quicksand decides when to let go.

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Change of Plans

hallie — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:08:02 +0000

Mood swing suck, especially when you can feel them coming on and you can’t do a darn thing about them. Then everything you had in store for the day has to be altered

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Depression at the moment

hallie — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 01:46:50 +0000

Thought of the day,

Depression sucks, as does the feelings of inadequacy and isolation that go along with it. It’s so hard to get up and do anything, like walking through taffy, living like this is so draining and so hard, even the simplest thing can be exhausting. Then there is the fear of people not understanding, of being judged or of being written off that causes me to keep to myself when I’m feeling depressed. It’s a vicious cycle that one knows reaching out or doing something will break, but it’s so hard to do, so simple to do, so intimidating to do. Support and understanding, but not enabling, from family, friends and, most importantly yourself, is key in getting through a depression. Every time it happens is different though, sometimes it’s easier than others to pull yourself out of it. Hopefully this round of depression will be easier than harder to get out of.

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A little about this site

hallie — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 23:09:27 +0000

First off, this site isn’t going to give you all the answers to bipolar or the depression that goes with it. This site is about life with bipolar and how I and others have learned to cope with it’s up and downs. This site is about support, sharing information and communicating in a safe and space. The goal of this site is to help people with this disorder, including myself, get help, help themselves, learn better coping mechanisms and learn how to live life not ruled by a chemical imbalance.